Conversations With Cady

Lawyers need vacations too! We all desperately need to disconnect and take a real break from the office but it is so hard to do when running a busy practice and you want to be of service to your clients. Technology has changed the definition of “emergency” and there is a pressure to be available at all times. I’ll never forget being in New York City when a client called to vent about his brother. I was on my first trip with my boyfriend at the time and I explained to him that when you’re a lawyer, it never ends.  It is really up to us to choose ourselves and do something different. Here are three simple boundaries you can create when going on vacation: 1. Create a detailed out of office message. Identify what day you will be coming back to the office and who can be contacted in your absence. Note that you will not be checking your emails or answering calls while you are away. Set clear expectations. 2. Notify your most active clients that you will be gone and let them know the stat...

As I continue to grow my business, I feel conflicting emotions. The most obvious is fear. Fear of failure. Fear of judgment. Fear of the unknown. Negative emotions have a tendency to stand louder than the positive ones. They’re based in history, society’s views, and the pressures imposed by our parents and family members. Fear will almost always be present.  But, I experience other emotions too. A deep desire to help others and grow my business. A need to align myself with my values of independence and service. Excitement for what’s to come and the authority to make decisions completely on my own. It is an adventure and a learning experience.  Many will say that you cannot live with both the positive and negative emotions. That you have to overcome the fear and anxiety before you can succeed. I disagree. I believe that we will always live with some level of fear but that we have to learn to acknowledge it and let it live within and alongside our other emotions. It will always ...

I just finished Simon Sinek’s “Start With Why” and it has me inspired to consider my purpose and why even more than I did a few weeks ago on this blog. Sinek’s position is that all great businesses and entrepreneurs start with why and then develop the what and how from the why. He references Apple, Southwest, and Harley Davison as companies with a clearly defined why that customers can believe in and therefore support.  My “why” is shaped by a lot of things. My experience as an employee in an industry dominated by outdated policies and practices. Conversations with colleagues that are burnt out, tired, and unfulfilled. My confidence that things can be done differently with great success if only people were willing to make a change. My willingness to work with others, to engage in conversations, to make a difference in an outdated industry.  My “why” is to make the world a better place by helping build confidence among peers so that they can ask for what they need in their pers...

The last few weeks, I’ve really noticed how hesitant people are to make a change in their lives. So many colleagues, friends, and even family members are frustrated by their day to day but they don’t want to do anything different. I keep wondering why? Why not rip off the bandaid and step forward into the unknown? My guess is that it’s fear based. That doing something new or different is always scary. What if you get a different outcome than you did with your old way of doing things? What if you fail? What if you make less money? What if someone judges you for doing things a different way? It’s all fear and shame and it serves no purpose other than to cripple you.  Change is after all, inevitable. You will never be in the same job, relationship, place, home, etc. for your entire life. Things change fast and often without input from you. What if we started embracing those changes instead of fearing them? Regardless of whether they are self-imposed or a result of others. What if we c...

I started a class on language which includes both verbal and non-verbal communication in conversation and interactions among clients, friends, family, and even strangers. One of the thoughts that really struck me is how much the words you say, or your body language, can affect your beliefs.  You talk to yourself more than anyone. Have you ever stopped to consider what you are saying to yourself that may be affecting what you believe about who you are and what you bring to the table? Is your mind littered with negative self-talk? What are you saying to yourself that is true and what is baseless? What beliefs have you developed as a result of what you say to yourself? We have a tendency to distort things, spiral, or get angry and let our brains run wild. We say so many things to ourselves that are not grounded in reality but the more often we say them, the more likely we are to believe them. If you tell yourself every day that you are unworthy, you’re going to start believing it. The...

I had a breakdown last week. Drained and frustrated, I considered giving it all up. Walking away from a legal career that I’ve built over ten years.  It’s hard to consistently feel dismissed. To feel that your ideas have no merit and that your ideal workplace is impractical. You’ve likely all been there - making suggestions to your managers and employers only to be ignored and to see no change. The status quo is rarely altered.  The problem we face in business is a sincere resistance to doing things different. Old school thought processes prevail. There is a scarcity mindset. That if you diverge too far from how you’ve always done things, you will not see the same level of success. Or if you do something a different way, you may fail altogether.  To be a big thinker in a narrow-minded field is to be shut down on the regular. It requires thick skin and a bigger outlook. You have to find the places that you can make an impact and move toward them. That can mean a new job, a...