Conversations With Cady

Lawyers need vacations too! We all desperately need to disconnect and take a real break from the office but it is so hard to do when running a busy practice and you want to be of service to your clients. Technology has changed the definition of “emergency” and there is a pressure to be available at all times. I’ll never forget being in New York City when a client called to vent about his brother. I was on my first trip with my boyfriend at the time and I explained to him that when you’re a lawyer, it never ends.  It is really up to us to choose ourselves and do something different. Here are three simple boundaries you can create when going on vacation: 1. Create a detailed out of office message. Identify what day you will be coming back to the office and who can be contacted in your absence. Note that you will not be checking your emails or answering calls while you are away. Set clear expectations. 2. Notify your most active clients that you will be gone and let them know the stat...

When friends talk to me about coaching, they often ask how I stay motivated to live a healthy, balanced life and how they can find the motivation to do the same. The honest answer is that I am not always motivated. There are many days when I am too exhausted to function or I don’t have the energy to train or work on whatever I need to work on.  What I lack in motivation, though, I gain in my routine. My routine is always to wake up early, get in some movement, eat breakfast, and then reflect and learn. I start my day this way so that no matter what my motivation levels are, I have something pulling me forward. It’s my Cady time and it is a priority. Other parts of my daily routine include regularly scheduled breaks, nutritious lunch and snacks, and hard quitting times. Oh, and I can’t forget my evening sleepy-time tea.  If you’re a person who doesn’t really like routine, there are so many other ways to find motivation. A few of my favorites include: Surrounding yourself with l...

Early this year I found myself crying after a hearing that was continued to a later date. I had prepared for weeks. I researched, wrote an outline of my argument, identified the questions I wanted to ask the witnesses, and was overly prepared to appear before the judge. It went fine but we didn’t finish. We were required to reschedule the remainder of the hearing nearly two months later. I was deflated. I had put so much time and energy into prepping for this hearing only to have no resolution. The end was delayed. All I could see was the many more hours I would now have to put in to prepare for the continued hearing. The many more days and nights this matter would be floating around in my head. It felt like I could not focus on anything else or rest until it was over.  That, my friends, is burnout. It is working too much, expending endless energy on certain issues, personal matters, clients, or cases that you literally cannot function. You begin to distort your own reality. You sa...

I am an overachiever. I have always been this way. Growing up, I played three sports, I was Senior Class President, I sought two degrees, I worked while in college, interned, and still managed to get good grades. I graduated with two degrees in three years, I finished law school in two. I did it all and boy, was I impressive. People said, "look at all she's done at such a young age! She's a boss!" "Overachiever" was a positive word in my mind. Something to seek and be.  In law, I did the same. I took on all the cases, all the appointments, all the leadership roles. Again, I did it all and boy, I was still impressive. Then in 2020, during a worldwide pandemic, things slowed down. I couldn't be everywhere for everyone all the time. While I had the leadership roles, those roles had no meaning. We couldn't gather. I couldn't focus on continued upward mobility and impressing. The world hit pause on my overachieving.  And guess what? My career didn...

Timelines are arbitrary. There is no right time to do anything - to settle down and start a family, to go to school, to start a new business. I try to wrap my head around the many timelines I set in my life. I am at a loss. I cannot for the life of me tell you why I said I wanted to do something by a certain date. Why did I want to be a partner in my own firm by 30? Why did I want to have 20 clients by the end of the year? Some may say I am an ambitious goal setter. Some may say that by having goals, I was motivated to work harder.  That's bullshit. I have never worked harder because I had a goal I was trying to meet. I was not more motivated. In fact, the only result of timelines was disappointment. I was sad that I said I was going to do something by a certain timeframe and then did not. I felt guilt and shame. I let myself down.  Again, that's bullshit. Timelines are unnecessary when you are not guaranteed the next day. So you didn't meet your goal? So what? Life goes on...

Society is rigid and we are constantly putting pressure on ourselves to meet quotas, accomplish lofty goals, make a certain income. Why? What do we accomplish by defining ourselves by the hours spent or the money earned? When we ditch the rules and honor our flow, we open the door to abundant possibilities. We say "yes" to things we would be encouraged to disregard. We do what is right for us at that time, not because we are supposed to, but because it feels like the right decision. No timelines, no rules, no walls. Goal setting used to be a priority for me. I wanted to accomplish X by age Y. Then I accomplished those things and nothing happened. I didn't grow or learn. I barely celebrated. I went from meeting one goal to creating a new one. I have also set unrealistic rules in my life - no sugar for a month, workout five times a week, meditate daily. Routine is great but when you're living in a set of rules, you'll inevitably let yourself down when you break a ru...

I may be writing this on a Tuesday but I want to talk about the scariest of all days, Sundays. Historically, the last day of my shockingly short weekend was filled with every household task necessary to prep for the week ahead. That included laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills, meal prep, cleaning, and running every errand that was put off during the week. Boring adult stuff. It might even include a drive to visit the family for lunch because when else are we all supposed to get together without work? By the time the day ended, I was anything but rested. I was annoyed that the entirety of one of my blessed days away from the job was entirely spent preparing for the week ahead. It's no wonder a majority of us end the weekend with "Sunday Scaries".  Now, Sundays are my favorite. They are filled with rest and reflection. Sundays are simply, not so scary anymore. So, how did I get to this point? To the point I actually look forward to this day more than most? It took some...