Conversations With Cady

It is time to retire the word "busy". It is not descriptive enough. It doesn't tell me what's really going on in your life. "Busy" can be a euphemism for burnout, over-scheduled, or overwhelmed. It can mean you aren't getting enough personal time in the day. It can mean that you don't have enough help with your home and family. It can mean that you took on too much - that you don't set boundaries. It can be an excuse. It can be a reason you decline an invitation as opposed to an honest assessment of why you do not want to attend.  Moving forward, I urge you to be precise with your words. Get to the root of why or how you are "busy" so that you can address it. The first step in finding balance is identifying what area of life you need to rectify. If you need help, ask for it. If you are over-scheduled, decline an invitation. If you need a break, take vacation time or take the afternoon away from your computer. Remember that "no...

Timelines are arbitrary. There is no right time to do anything - to settle down and start a family, to go to school, to start a new business. I try to wrap my head around the many timelines I set in my life. I am at a loss. I cannot for the life of me tell you why I said I wanted to do something by a certain date. Why did I want to be a partner in my own firm by 30? Why did I want to have 20 clients by the end of the year? Some may say I am an ambitious goal setter. Some may say that by having goals, I was motivated to work harder.  That's bullshit. I have never worked harder because I had a goal I was trying to meet. I was not more motivated. In fact, the only result of timelines was disappointment. I was sad that I said I was going to do something by a certain timeframe and then did not. I felt guilt and shame. I let myself down.  Again, that's bullshit. Timelines are unnecessary when you are not guaranteed the next day. So you didn't meet your goal? So what? Life goes on...

Society is rigid and we are constantly putting pressure on ourselves to meet quotas, accomplish lofty goals, make a certain income. Why? What do we accomplish by defining ourselves by the hours spent or the money earned? When we ditch the rules and honor our flow, we open the door to abundant possibilities. We say "yes" to things we would be encouraged to disregard. We do what is right for us at that time, not because we are supposed to, but because it feels like the right decision. No timelines, no rules, no walls. Goal setting used to be a priority for me. I wanted to accomplish X by age Y. Then I accomplished those things and nothing happened. I didn't grow or learn. I barely celebrated. I went from meeting one goal to creating a new one. I have also set unrealistic rules in my life - no sugar for a month, workout five times a week, meditate daily. Routine is great but when you're living in a set of rules, you'll inevitably let yourself down when you break a ru...