Conversations With Cady

Anxiety sucks. I can’t remember when I started to feel anxious. I don’t really remember dealing with it until after law school. After I graduated, I had big goals and I thought that I could only accomplish them by perfecting the craft. I put a lot of pressure on myself to perform. My best was never good enough. Only perfect was acceptable. This pressure may have led to the uneasy nervousness I now associate with anxiety.  Anxiety manifests in many ways for me. Early on, it caused me to lose sleep. My brain raced for hours on all the things I had to accomplish the next day or all the ways I could have done something better that day. I ruminated on the emails I sent, the demand letters I drafted, and the meetings I had with clients and my superiors. It was all consuming at night and I constantly feared I could have done something better. At night time, I lost control of my thoughts and regularly spiraled into the negative and worst-case scenarios. A few years into my practice, I star...

When friends talk to me about coaching, they often ask how I stay motivated to live a healthy, balanced life and how they can find the motivation to do the same. The honest answer is that I am not always motivated. There are many days when I am too exhausted to function or I don’t have the energy to train or work on whatever I need to work on.  What I lack in motivation, though, I gain in my routine. My routine is always to wake up early, get in some movement, eat breakfast, and then reflect and learn. I start my day this way so that no matter what my motivation levels are, I have something pulling me forward. It’s my Cady time and it is a priority. Other parts of my daily routine include regularly scheduled breaks, nutritious lunch and snacks, and hard quitting times. Oh, and I can’t forget my evening sleepy-time tea.  If you’re a person who doesn’t really like routine, there are so many other ways to find motivation. A few of my favorites include: Surrounding yourself with l...

I am an overachiever. I have always been this way. Growing up, I played three sports, I was Senior Class President, I sought two degrees, I worked while in college, interned, and still managed to get good grades. I graduated with two degrees in three years, I finished law school in two. I did it all and boy, was I impressive. People said, "look at all she's done at such a young age! She's a boss!" "Overachiever" was a positive word in my mind. Something to seek and be.  In law, I did the same. I took on all the cases, all the appointments, all the leadership roles. Again, I did it all and boy, I was still impressive. Then in 2020, during a worldwide pandemic, things slowed down. I couldn't be everywhere for everyone all the time. While I had the leadership roles, those roles had no meaning. We couldn't gather. I couldn't focus on continued upward mobility and impressing. The world hit pause on my overachieving.  And guess what? My career didn...

This week, I have been considering my life purpose and mission statement. It is a topic my classmates and I are discussing within our coaching training courses. Some people have been thinking about their purpose for years and can condense it into a five-word tagline. Others, like myself, feel that a "life purpose" changes and grows with you. Here are my May 2021 thoughts on my life purpose (subject to change literally daily).  My life purpose: To lead others to growth and self-discovery. To teach about happiness, balance, presence, and fulfillment. To explore new places, learn from different cultures, and grow as an individual. To serve others by listening, encouraging, motivating, and empowering. To advocate for positive change and understanding of mental health and wellness. To impact society by cultivating happy and compassionate individuals. To be free from expectations, rigidity, and the influence of others. To live the life of my design with consideration to the improve...

It is time to retire the word "busy". It is not descriptive enough. It doesn't tell me what's really going on in your life. "Busy" can be a euphemism for burnout, over-scheduled, or overwhelmed. It can mean you aren't getting enough personal time in the day. It can mean that you don't have enough help with your home and family. It can mean that you took on too much - that you don't set boundaries. It can be an excuse. It can be a reason you decline an invitation as opposed to an honest assessment of why you do not want to attend.  Moving forward, I urge you to be precise with your words. Get to the root of why or how you are "busy" so that you can address it. The first step in finding balance is identifying what area of life you need to rectify. If you need help, ask for it. If you are over-scheduled, decline an invitation. If you need a break, take vacation time or take the afternoon away from your computer. Remember that "no...

The legal field is antiquated. Much has changed in the world but it seems the legal profession remains firmly rooted in the 1900s. We see law firms managed by white, male lawyers. We see unattainable billable hour requirements. We see a hesitancy to talk open and honestly about the mental health issues that plague our profession and country.  Law is based on precedent - cases that supports arguments and a judge's decisions. Case law that dates back to when the United States was newly formed and leaning on a fresh constitution. When we rely on precedent so heavily to do our jobs, it is hard to embrace change within the field. We require legal associates to stay late in the day not because they are more effective by working longer hours, but because that's just the way things have always been. We hire people from the same schools and backgrounds as us for the same reason. It is what we know. Firm culture relies on precedent just as much as the law.  In order to effectuate change...