Conversations With Cady

When friends talk to me about coaching, they often ask how I stay motivated to live a healthy, balanced life and how they can find the motivation to do the same. The honest answer is that I am not always motivated. There are many days when I am too exhausted to function or I don’t have the energy to train or work on whatever I need to work on.  What I lack in motivation, though, I gain in my routine. My routine is always to wake up early, get in some movement, eat breakfast, and then reflect and learn. I start my day this way so that no matter what my motivation levels are, I have something pulling me forward. It’s my Cady time and it is a priority. Other parts of my daily routine include regularly scheduled breaks, nutritious lunch and snacks, and hard quitting times. Oh, and I can’t forget my evening sleepy-time tea.  If you’re a person who doesn’t really like routine, there are so many other ways to find motivation. A few of my favorites include: Surrounding yourself with l...

Early this year I found myself crying after a hearing that was continued to a later date. I had prepared for weeks. I researched, wrote an outline of my argument, identified the questions I wanted to ask the witnesses, and was overly prepared to appear before the judge. It went fine but we didn’t finish. We were required to reschedule the remainder of the hearing nearly two months later. I was deflated. I had put so much time and energy into prepping for this hearing only to have no resolution. The end was delayed. All I could see was the many more hours I would now have to put in to prepare for the continued hearing. The many more days and nights this matter would be floating around in my head. It felt like I could not focus on anything else or rest until it was over.  That, my friends, is burnout. It is working too much, expending endless energy on certain issues, personal matters, clients, or cases that you literally cannot function. You begin to distort your own reality. You sa...

Sometimes I feel like I’m living two lives. The one that I signed on for many years ago and the one that I grew into over the last year, my authentic self. It is a constant battle between what my colleagues and society think I should be doing and what my heart and mind are telling me to do. I have found that I am saying “no” more often. I am pushing back on the people and things that do not serve me. I am asking “why”? But still, there is a pull. There may always be a pull. There may always be something challenging my thought processes and my direction. People will judge me, question my authenticity, and fear that I will leave them behind. It gets to me and sometimes, makes me sad. Shouldn’t we all always want the best for each other? Shouldn’t we admire others who have grown into their true selves?  Every morning I remind myself to choose me first. I prioritize my needs and my values. When I feel conflict, I move in my direction and one day, perhaps even sooner than I know, those ...

I am an overachiever. I have always been this way. Growing up, I played three sports, I was Senior Class President, I sought two degrees, I worked while in college, interned, and still managed to get good grades. I graduated with two degrees in three years, I finished law school in two. I did it all and boy, was I impressive. People said, "look at all she's done at such a young age! She's a boss!" "Overachiever" was a positive word in my mind. Something to seek and be.  In law, I did the same. I took on all the cases, all the appointments, all the leadership roles. Again, I did it all and boy, I was still impressive. Then in 2020, during a worldwide pandemic, things slowed down. I couldn't be everywhere for everyone all the time. While I had the leadership roles, those roles had no meaning. We couldn't gather. I couldn't focus on continued upward mobility and impressing. The world hit pause on my overachieving.  And guess what? My career didn...

Integrity is defined by Merriam Webster as " the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness". In my coaching classes we believe people have integrity when their words align with their actions. The dictionary definition is more subjective while our coaching definition is objective.  My definition is a combination of both. People live with integrity when their words match their actions but those words and actions are rooted in strong moral principles. Consistency is key. If a person identifies a value or a life purpose, I expect that person to live in alignment with that value or purpose, daily. It does not require big actions but small acts on a regular basis. As Joe Sabini noted in his Ted Talk on integrity and humility, "how we do anything is how we do everything."  A prime example is my goal to live with patience. Patience is something I value and in order to live with integrity, I need to practice patience in all interactions, ...

This week, I have been considering my life purpose and mission statement. It is a topic my classmates and I are discussing within our coaching training courses. Some people have been thinking about their purpose for years and can condense it into a five-word tagline. Others, like myself, feel that a "life purpose" changes and grows with you. Here are my May 2021 thoughts on my life purpose (subject to change literally daily).  My life purpose: To lead others to growth and self-discovery. To teach about happiness, balance, presence, and fulfillment. To explore new places, learn from different cultures, and grow as an individual. To serve others by listening, encouraging, motivating, and empowering. To advocate for positive change and understanding of mental health and wellness. To impact society by cultivating happy and compassionate individuals. To be free from expectations, rigidity, and the influence of others. To live the life of my design with consideration to the improve...

I am not a patient person. It has never been anywhere near the top of my virtues. As I have grown, though, I have realized that there is nothing in life that you can't work on (we do train muscles after all). So, I am practicing patience daily. Here's how: Gratitude: I sit in gratitude for where I am in my life and how far I have come.  Journaling: I explore patience through writing in my journal (and on my blog of course). I think about the ways I was patient during the day and the ways I could have employed more patience. I consider the people I impacted by being impatient. I forgive myself in the moments I lost my cool and treat it as a learning experience.  Listening: I listen with intent. I hesitate to interrupt the conversation or to jump to conclusions. Through coaching, I listen and let clients come to their own solutions. It takes time for people to discover themselves and identify the best routes forward.  Meditation: Sitting in silence trains the patience muscl...